Last Night Dream

They tell me I have no light and I live in diminishing faith,

Fear grips my heart, doubt carpets my mind,

I don’t sit with my Bible, nor many time I sit in prayer,

Church I don’t visit often, my life seems astray.

Trembling soul, cold and weak, dwindling might, I could hardly see,

I see my dusty strength scattered here and scattered there,

With my shivering hands I gather it from rusty floor,

That little strength that I am left with, seems not enough to fight.

I don’t sit in Church, for long hours neither do I pray,

I don’t talk in tongues, nor wise righteous word I display,

I don’t quote Bible in every word I say,

I am just someone who don’t know how to offer a perfect prayer.

All I know is I’m weak, I need His mighty strength indeed,

Day and night I say HELP is only conversation we have,

My heart needs Him every day, I know every day He has my back,

I know my trembling hands are whole again in His promised pact.

Last night as I laid myself, with questions as always,

This time the conversation was more than usual; help I say,

Not that I was with heavy heart, nor I was in pain,

Few drops of tears rolled out on my face.

I was confused to why and what that meant?

My fears seam to leave, my mind was at peace,

My heart was filled with undefined grace,

I felt the strength in me again, His light in that dark night embraced.

I know I am not right, no righteous life I live,

Lord! I know I have made innumerable mistakes,

You still speak to me, You still ready to pick me from my disgrace,

I lean to You, humbly I seek your face.

Last night brought a new day,

A day of surrender and sweet prayers,

I know, I was dubious, uncertain in my ways,

All I had to do is bent a little and cling to His boundless, abounding grace. 

It's only word

I don't want to write something or anything at all,

Wasted words with all their ruggedness crawls in my mind,

My molecules of emotions are not so volatile and this is a permanent fix every time I have this itch to write,

They say writing takes you to the wonderland, I know I've traveled that land quite many times,

Brisé  and bravura of words that spells on me is so clear, I look like a girl fallen in love for the first time in many years,

You take me to a concealed fearless land there you stand in front of me and take my hand,

My hands, my mind , my heart, in control, in your deepest spell I see the words dance on Waltz,

I see you close, in all your might, ardour, unassailable pride I look at you in awe you are divine,

Look at you what you did to me with ease, you brought my mind on it's knees, adoring you and your wondrous stride on my mind,

I wasn't sure if I can write or paint words, neither I know how to praise your might,

Words you are sometimes tempestuous, sometimes passion, sometimes reverie but most of all you are life to every breath I  breathe, 

I know I started with no words with no will to write, words you are my light in this little shadowed, cold life of mine.

Die a little more everyday!

That's your song I listen to every night, foolish I feel and still I think you may come someday back to my surprise, That's what you always did back then when you were mine some sweet surprise.

Those country songs, those lines of yours, you use to say looking right in my eyes, seemed so real but now I know 'twas some bitter disguise.

Why did you come in my life, I think of you still by each passing time, this fickle heart of mine. The scarf you parceled I still wrap around my neck to feel you're still there and mine.

I remember every word you said, every promise, every gleeful quest you had, you said you had for us, I wonder still what went wrong, how could you leave me so naked and bare.

I still think about us, me in wounded despair, you on a longest walk alone or maybe with  somebody whom you much secretly cared.

I don't know what went wrong between you and I; don't think you anymore care, I care still and breath a little breath of you still everyday, each day I still; like a fool live in your body and die a little more everyday.

Small Yet Strong